I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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