So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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