Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
