True but thats because hes a fetus.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
