whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
