the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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