Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I pour the whiskey from now on
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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