He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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