If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
