evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
i believe in u and ur pee
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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