is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
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