In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
