She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
