I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
