The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
