I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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