wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I need moral support for this bender
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
