Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Holy shit dude........stairs
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
