OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
