Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
