ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
