Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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