Buhtt sex?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
