HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
