Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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