every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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