best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
