i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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