I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize