Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
