do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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