I'm eating all of the evidence.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize