things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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