Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
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