No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
