With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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