But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
