I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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