I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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