hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
