New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
