i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
