Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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