I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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