You're completely useless in the revolution.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
