I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize