I'm eating all of the evidence.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
