he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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