Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
