god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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