i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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