my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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