before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
