I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
