I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
