what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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