plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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