She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
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I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
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HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize