absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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