I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize